--Dr. Margaret Berton, Physiologist, www.drberton.com, discussed this at our last support group
Article written by an eHow Contributor
Original content: http://www.ehow.com/how_2100493_maintain-relationships-after-weight-loss.html
Losing weight after weight loss surgery is a great accomplishment. Although the impact of the patient's weight loss may be dramatic, their relationships may also be affected. The spouse, friends and family may begin to mourn the person they knew before weight loss surgery. Learn to maintain your relationships after weight loss surgery while enjoying the benefits of a trimmer body.
1. Be considerate of your spouse, friends and family. They may have supported the surgery, but are unsure of how to react to a more confident and outgoing you. Accept the compliments initially, but try not to dwell on them.
2. Keep conversations diverse. Show concern and enthusiasm for what's going on with friends, family and the spouse. Don't talk to much about your weight loss success, as they may view it as being self-centered. Inquire about their interests and goals.
3. Include the spouse in new activities. When you were overweight, you probably were leery of new activities in the past. Now that you're willing to try new things, solicit fun activities from the spouse. Take turns at picking the next adventure.
4. Compliment your spouse. Let him know how much his support is appreciated or tell him how his encouragement helped during depressing times. Take the focus off you and put it on the spouse who may need reassurance.
5. Do something special. Buy that hard to find CD that the hubby's been talking about, purchase concert tickets to your wife's favorite artist or plan a romantic weekend away. The point is to do something that will make the spouse feel special, especially when there is no occasion to do so. Your new personality may make the spouse insecure about the relationship and small gestures like these are reassuring.
6. Listen. When friends and family express concerns about personality changes, listen to them and don't take offense. They may have valid points that are being overlooked. Changes are to be expected, but make sure the changes are positive.
7. Express empathy. The bottom line is that losing weight feels great, but the response from loved ones can be unpredictable. Go easy on them and gradually reveal your new personality over time. A little empathy will help maintain relationships after weight loss surgery.
Tips & Warnings
- The spouse is considerably affected when a patient goes through weight gain and weight loss. Consider taking relationship therapy if the marriage becomes progressively difficult or hostile.
